Blog Archive


Dealing With Offense by Rev. J.T. Smith

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try for otherwise, either you will offend someone or they will offend you. It’s simply a part of this thing we call life. There is one thing to realize and remember: The only way you can be offended is if you choose to be offended.

Ultimately, the best way to deal with it is to surprise everyone and choose to not be offended. Ask yourself why the person is in any way important to you specifically. Also remember that others won’t necessarily share your viewpoint. Sometimes, their view will be both negative to your way of thinking and will seem to be narrow-minded and inflexible. Deciding to be offended will only succeed in giving you extra unneeded “baggage” that will only adversely affect you. You do better to decide to not be offended, try to at least see where their point is coming from, explain your point of view (i.e. have something of a conversation about it), and if you can’t come to a consensus then at most mentally conclude that they’re an idiot and then just go on with your life.

“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more . . . than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." [I saw hate in a graveyard -- Stephen Fry, The Guardian, 5 June 2005]”

Getting and/or being offended solves nothing. It won’t actually change anything. Your viewpoints, no matter how well reasoned or even potentially innocent they may be, will still offend someone else. That’s merely human nature. Regardless of what far too many people will tell you, you always have a choice (you simply won’t always like the alternatives). In terms of something, a statement or action that you don’t like for whatever reason, your choices are to be offended or not to be offended. Make your life so much easier by always choosing to not be offended.

by Rev. J.T. Smith